Card Brand: Blah Blah Blah Cards

She found if administered correctly, evening primrose oil had a remarkably calming effect.

Occasionally her "I don't know what to wear today" clothing crisis would get completely out of hand

The cards say love is on the way and in the ball I see a cake shop

She stockpiled essential items in case of emergency

Suddenly the ozone layer, plight of the blue whale and world peace paled into insignificance

Screen 1 - Face Book Screen 2 - Off ya face book

She regretted her decision to repair her own computer

Selection exam for England footballers
Q. How does b go into a?

"It's a hand bag" he said, trying to convince her he'd invented something useful

Before embarking on the search for her inner self, she embarked on the search for her lipstick

The location of her flat more than compensated for the fact it had no bathroom, kitchen or bedroom.

I'll be home at 8 - Allo babes...I'm in the pub...I love youuuuu...just 'avin one more pint.

Behaviour in the office improved dramatically after the introduction of the naughty step.

Her version of nip and tuck was 'I'll just nip in here and tuck into some choccy'

She only drank one unit of alcohol a week

On the positive side it matched her outfit and gave her more time to shop

The new remote covered all of his basic needs

Road sign for men.... Road sign for women....

To the brim please waiter. In order to save water she just drank wine

After cycling to work to reduce her carbon footprint, she continued saving energy

Lady: Can you shrink my bum?
She tried every diet. Now she tried a shrink

Sun: Darling...where did you get those shoes? and that bag is to die for
She was a little surprised when the sun came out

Where are the shops? Travel broadens the minds...sometimes

Working from home helped her focus on the really important projects

The only working out she ever did was working out what to wear