Card Brand: Scrawl More Web - Men and Father Related Scrawl Cards

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day".
George Carlin

"I don't worry about getting older. I intend to live forever. So far so good."
Steven Wright

"How to please a woman?
Love her, die for her, take her to dinner, miss the football for her, buy her jewellery, be interested in what she has to say...
How to please a man?
Show up naked, bring beer".
Urban Graphic

"If a man smiles in his own house someone is sure to ask him for money".
William Feather

As I get older I'm trying to eat more healthy food, so I've bought Gordon Ramsey's new cookbook, "Take Two Eggs and F**koff".
Jack Dee

Computer Games don't effect kids. If pac-man had effected us as kids, we'd all be runnigng around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetative electronic music.
Gareth Owen

“A father’s solemn duty is to watch football with his children and teach them when to shout at the ref”.
Paul Collins

“Real men don’t use instructions. They are only the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put the thing together”
Tim Taylor

"I may be getting on a bit, but I can still rock like a son of a bitch."
Ozzy Osbourne

"I don't know anything about computers. I don't even know how often to change the oil."
George Burns

"When you participate in sporting events it's not all about winning or losing. It's how drunk you get after that counts."
Urban Graphic

"I took up a collection for a man in our office but I didn't get enough to buy one."
Ruth Buzzi

"You should always go for younger men. You may as well. They never mature anyway."
Theresa Bloomingdale

"God invented vegetables to let fathers get even with their children."
PJ O'Rourke

"Tell the man there are 500 million stars in the universe and he will believe you.

Tell him a fence has just been painted and he has to touch it first."
Urban Graphic

"No man goes before his time. Unless the boss leaves early."
Bob Hope

"Most women are attracted to the simple things in life - like men."
Hennie Youngman

"Give a Man a Fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and you get rid of him for the entire weekend."
Zenna Schaffer

"A friedn of mine wrote a book entitled 'How to Attract Men'. The main device was to be naked and have a bar by the bed."
John Waters

"I've never disliked a man enough to give him his diamonds back."
Zsa Zsa Gabor

"The best way for a father to give his advice to his children is to find out what they want to do and then advise them to do it."
Harry S Truman

"Fathers are always asking kids 'what they want to be when they grow up' because they are still looking for ideas.
Jack Benny

"Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a father ages as much as 20 years."
Al Bernstein

"It's not easy being a mother, if it were easy fathers would do it."
Urban Graphic

"My team lives football, dreams football, it eats football. Now if it could only play football."
Urban Graphic

"A man is as old as he feels. A woman is as old as she feels like admitting."
American Proverb

"Ask a woman how she feels and she'll open her heart and tell you her fears, hopes and dreams. Ask a man what he feels and he'll tell you he feels like a pizza."
Diana Ford

"A hard man is good to find".
Mae West